March 2025

Mostly about creative process and Warmongers. Plus updates.

Howdy, all!

Somehow, it’s already March in this year that feels so massive. And yet, it’s still not September. I’m too old now to try and rush time (or at least, I tell myself this in the hopes of learning patience). But writing and athletic pursuits have inured me to the slow passage, to incremental growth. A mile happens on step at a time. A novel, one word after another.

I’ve been telling myself this a lot lately, as I try to break deeper into Warmongers. It’s weird to be working on a new book in a new world with new characters. For the longest time, I felt like I completely forgot how to write. For a few different reasons, I think. For one, I’d spent the last year writing from tight outlines, in worlds where the boundaries were already set—Ambessa, as an IP project, and The Sovereign, which had two books of plot dictating what needed to happen next. Fate’s Bane was very small, and so also necessitated restraint. I didn’t want to trap myself with a new outline, not yet. But how else do you start a book? What to do now that the world was completely open to me, and, in fact, nonexistant?"

Well, it turns out, I had to make the world exist. I had the characters and some general knowledge of their broad plot from the synopsis I’d created when I sold the book back in 2021 (which was a long fucking time ago, by the way). I could barely remember my intentions with some of the projections I’d made or the character notes. The outline I’d made then I’d already decided to throw out a long time ago. But come November 2024, I was too burnt out to even think. Recovery instead took the form of play.

I spent the month rolling around in my office with the Story Engine suite, including my brand new Lore Deck, including the Deities and Names expansions. And I just…pulled and pulled and pulled until I had a map, until I new more about the gods—and accidentally found a new god, who, obviously was going to create problems—and more characters, and that meant even more potential conflicts and allies and histories. Even though I couldn’t stand to think about the work of the book, I was learning a lot about what it could be. Who was present in the world. Where those people could go and how they would rub up against each other, for better and for worse. Eventually, I had enough that I could start writing stuff down.

That, of course, became its own new obstacle, and I’m still not fully past it, but I’m trying. A brand new first draft, and I’m caught somewhere between wanting to pants my way through it for the sake of exploration, and craving a hard outline that tells me what to do every day so that the writing is flows smooth and orderly. Right now, I’m in some sort of between space. I know the rough direction of the parallel storylines (oh yeah, we’re playing with structure this time, LFG!), and have had new ideas happen all the time, completely random bunny trails to follow. There’s something gratifying in that.

Part of it is expecting a stronger product; I’ve written five books by now! This should be easier! This first draft should be better! Shouldn’t it? No, apparently not. But also—probably it is much better than that first draft of The Unbroken, and I’ve just forgotten. Holding myself to different, unreachable standards. I also want to talk about War, that notoriously tiny subject that no one has ever written about, ever—so obviously, I want my brand new never-before-thought-of ideas to encompass everything there is to say on the topic. And on top of that, of course, a part of me wants to sell more books, to spark some newer, higher level of success to sustain my career and my ego.

With all that in the back of my mind, how in the world would I not have writer’s block?

So we step back. In reality, the thing I want the most is to have fun. To write some off the wall shit in this new world. To write some lesbians who yearn sword first. To challenge myself a little with new structures. To find out what I think about something, again. To write my way through the world. I can do that without the results being an immediate masterpiece. And even with their outlines, all of my other books have been products of iteration—layer after layer after layer of paint, slathered on, scraped, brushed again.

Layer by layer. Day by day. That’s how I’m trying to take this project, and everything else I’m working toward.

(If this is something you are/do struggle with, regardless of where you are in your life/career, I’ve been reading this book that, sure, feels like review of things that I thought I had already internalized but clearly I needed a reminder. Check it out yourself: 7 Secrets of the Prolific by Hillary Rettig.)

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Where I’ve Been

A lot of travel in February took me home to Kansas where I spent some time in Lawrence (undergrad alma mater!) and the Raven Bookstore. Ostensibly, I was there to give the Gunn Memorial SFF Lecture (my topic? uh. war in fantasy, why we write it, why we (I) are obsessed with it), but I also hung out with Tessa Gratton, author of the Lady Hotspur book that I’m always going on about, and got an early copy of her next book, The Mercy Makers! I also ate a lot of diner food, a lot of bbq, and accidentally got stuck running the wrong way during a trail race when I tried to go on a run around my favorite park. (Stay tuned for another essay about how being a runner now has changed the way I see all of these places I knew so well, from Lawrence and Kansas City to Bloomington.)

I also had the great privilege of going to Riot HQ in California and giving a talk about my writing process in general and in specific for Ambessa: Chosen of the Wolf. Big shout out to the Riot Noir team for bringing me and shepherding me around campus. I got to tour the Arcane-themed building, drink a Mel-themed latte, and played some League! During my off time, I also visited a Barnes and Noble, made a pilgrimage to Venice Beach outdoor gym, and sang Chappell Roan in WeHo.

Digitally

The Story Engine - my chat about writing bad/conflicted/interesting relationships went live! And it’s not just about bad relationships but any relationship we want to attend to with nuance. We also came up with a new scenario and you can really watch my personal hang-ups fire on a livestream (it was telling and kind of hilarious).

SFF Addicts - my chat about Ambessa AND a Masterclass on training up your characters in your fiction. I had some real good nuggets of wisdom in the masterclass, so do check those out either on the youtube (linked) or wherever you get your podcasts. Also, you get to see the guns in the Masterclass. ;)

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Where I’m Going

April 1 - Oxford Literary Festival (this is complicated, and to be honest, I don’t really want to advertise it, for reasons I’ll go into in the April newsletter, along with my recent attendance at a Judith Butler lecture)

April 3, 6 PM - 8 PM @ Waterstones Covent Garden - In Conversation with Eliza Chan and Annabel Campbell on Empowering Women in Fiction (yet ANOTHER topic I have complicated feelings about, but I’m sure we’ll go into those on stage). Get your tickets.

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What I’m Reading

Spent most of my recent time reading copyedits, so I don’t have that much to report, other than—hey, my next books are actually pretty good!

• The Mercy Makers by Tessa Gratton (June US/July UK) - the first book of an adult second-world epic fantasy. I just finished it and it’s twisty and intricate, sexy and queer, with one of the most unique magic systems I’ve seen in a while.

• 7 Secrets of the Prolific by Hillary Rettig - The procrastination book I mentioned above.

• Feast While You Can by Mikaella Clemens and Onjuli Datta (US/UK) - I’ve been going rabid about this book online. It’s a lesbian horror kinda thing. It’s hot, it’s creepy, and it says a lot of good things about the pressure to leave your home if you’re queer and/or brown in a small town. It’s also got a hot butch, which I always crave more of. I’ve promised that if 100 people tell me that they read this book because of me that I’ll do something drastic, but I don’t know what. Bon appétit. ;)

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And that’s all! I will end this very long letter with a reminder that both The Sovereign (US/UK) and Fate’s Bane (US/UK) will be out September 30, and your preorders do immense good in how a publisher treats a book, so if you’d like to support me, that’s one of the best ways to do it. (The other is to tell your friends and anyone else you can.) Ambessa: Chosen of the Wolf (US/UK) is already out! So check that out, too if you liked Arcane, the Netflix show.

Until next time,

Stay safe and stay sharp.

p.s. The Sovereign has a final cover at last! You’re not ready. You think you are, but you’re not.